Category Archives: How To

How well do you know yourself?

Are your dots connected?

Are you and you best friends?

Or… do you feel at odds sometimes?

Do you get down on yourself because what seems to work for other people doesn’t work for you?

You read all kinds of blogs. Take tons of courses. Follow the instructions to the detail.

But, it just doesn’t seem to work for you…

Here’s a secret: everyone is a little different. And what works for some people, doesn’t work for others.

I know, it’s crazy, right?!!

So, how well do you know yourself?

It was recently affirmed for me that the best way FOR ME to make shit happen in my life is to not try! To just relax and do other stuff that makes me feel good. This is pretty much the OPPOSITE of what Western culture tell us we should do. And is also EXTREMELY HARD for me to do. It brings up a lot of guilt and challenges my core belief that says ‘in order to get something you want, you have to TRY REALLY HARD!!!’

But, the thing is… it works.

I learned that from checking out my Human Design chart.

There are many facets to each of us and the better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to do the things that help us get shit done and bring us the successes we want.

Plus, the better you’ll feel.

I’m kind of a personality test, birthdate based chart thingy junkie.

I’ve learned so much about myself from these things!

There’s Human Design. If you’re curious what your Human Design has to say, go here or here.

There’s astrology. You can get your chart here. There’s so much more to astrology than your sun sign! Molly Hall has a lot of great articles here.

Then there’s Strengths Finder.

And The Fascination Advantage Test.

Enneagrams. (watch out, this one made me cry!)

Archetypes.

And let’s not forget good ole Myer’s Briggs!

Of course, there are many many more than these. And even within these, you’ll find certain aspects are more prominent than others. For instance, I am completely moon centric and I find that following the moon phases really helps me understand my moods and what’s going on in my life.

The way all these different parts of you come together is what makes up your WEIRD!!

The point is… PLAY WITH IT! Give yourself some time to learn more about you. You just might find the keys to your next career move or an explanation to why you always love to lay in the grass and stare up at the sky.

How do you feel about personality tests and birthdate based charts??

————————————————————————–

See that drawing up there? It’s an original! By me.

It’s actually the very first piece I’ve ever put up for sale.

Squeeeeeeeaaaaaalllll!!!

You can buy it, here! It’s 9×12 in pen on heavy bright white paper. Shipping is included.

And that yellow, it’s neon 😉

It might just help you remember there’s always more dots within you that can be connected. <3

My existential crisis and remembering who I really am

This week has been ROUGH over here at Mara Belzer HQ.

If only there were some place we could order a dropper full of confidence and clarity! Take 4 drops 3x a day and you’d be set 😉

Mine would probably be made from the energetic vibration of the tears my three year old self shed five lifetimes ago when that dog bit my foot and I ended up with a marking on my first chakra.

Alas, being an entrepreneur is super painful sometimes and blocks can be tricky. And the only thing you can really do is just wade through the thoughts and feelings while attempting to keep the collateral damage to a minimum.

For me that means calling on my arsenal of friends and coaches and handholding otters so I don’t float out to sea.

AND completely getting away from my business and doing fun stuff until I am *actually* having fun.

Yesterday, between fits of hysterical crying, I went to my storage unit to look for some watercolor paper. I’ve been nomadic for the past two years so looking for stuff in there is like sorting through a time capsule.

I found my old sketchbooks from art school. They reminded me that I’ve had a propensity towards the weird since… forever.

gimme
snail watching tv
Here's a drawing I did of a slug watching tv.
house cat
Here's my interpretation of a house cat back from when I was really into house music. Over on the left you can see evidence of my obsession with label makers.
gimme

I also found the snakes which you can read all about in my post about the snakes.

gimme
Snakes!
gimme

This trip down memory lane helped me see that my life is much bigger than any existential crisis.

Life flows in waves and sometimes when you’re at the bottom of the wave, it’s hard to remember that pretty soon you’ll be back on top of the world, having a grand ole time, and feeling stronger for that dip.

gimme
Here's my three year old self from this lifetime enjoying the heck out of toothless smiles and nature.
gimme

Ok, so… the next time you find yourself in an entrepreneurial rut, you have permission to take a break and do something that reminds you of who you really are.

Because you are SO MUCH MORE than the number of clients you have or amount of dollars in your bank account or number of likes on Facebook.  <– click to tweet that!

You are amazing with or without.

gimmespace!


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When you have too many ideas and it’s hard to choose

Does this sound familiar?!

It’s Friday. All week, I’ve been thinking about how I need to write a blog post. I put so much pressure on myself to write the post that I don’t know what it should be about.

I’ve written ten different posts in my head. Brainstormed a few, but none of them are zinging me. Even right now, I’m trying to ‘trick’ myself into writing a blog a post by doing a journal entry. It feels forced.

I’m always exploring… what are the perfect conditions to blog under?!

I like to feel fired up. Scratch that, NEED to feel FIRED UP! If I’m bored, will other people be bored, too? It’s definitely boring to write about something you’re bored of.

Arg, I totally don’t feel like writing this. I’m not feeling particularly inspired this week.

I feel under pressure. Pressure does not equal creativity. And excitement.

And yet another week has gone by and here I am, wondering what the HELL I did this week aside from stress out. {insert dramatic sigh here}

This is idea overwhelm!

It’s one part tons of ideas, one part self-doubt, one part fear of success, one part purposeful distraction and a dash of arm flailing.

So. What do you DO in the midst of idea overwhelm?

There are are many ways to get past it but in the the end, and they all involve making a decision and taking some good ole action!

The other night I opted for the walk away and do something fun instead option. This involved going to an art show where two fire eaters ate fire off each others nipples and then going to this mindblowing BBQ place in Brooklyn with the roomies where we proceeded to eat ourselves into a meat coma.

And the next day – BLOG POST. TA DA!

So, why did this work?

When you’re stuck deep in the clenches of idea overwhelm, you can’t see the big picture. And when you can’t see the big picture, you get mired in the details and can’t make a decision.

Maybe you don’t have all the info, or are afraid of making the wrong one or aren’t being honest with yourself about what you want vs. what you feel like you *should* be doing. But when you’re super close to it, it’s hard to see what’s really going on.

But, in order to get out of idea overwhelm, you have to make a decision and move forward with it. Because not making the decision equates to continuing to hold yourself back. <– click to tweet it!

So, do what you can to make that decision… table it (if you do this, really walk away from it!), get some perspective with a break for FUN, journal, talk to a friend, hire someone to help you (if this is your jam – I can help – let’s chat!).

If you’re worried about making the wrong decision, there are very few things in life you can’t recover from – meaning, there aren’t really wrong decisions. You will end up in a new place with new options and if something is meant to be, it’ll come back around.

Tell me in the comments, what’s your go to way to get out of idea overwhelm?

Big hugs and happy choosing!

gimmespace!


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Minimize to maximize – make room for 2013!

If you’re anything like me…

You spend a lot of time on Facebook.

And Instagram.

And Pinterest.

Maybe some Twitter and YouTube thrown in, too??

And then of course, let’s not forget about all those newsletters you’re subscribed to.

And is your e-reader bursting at the seams with blogs you’re ‘following’?

Do you have tv shows you just have to watch every week?

A tower of books on your night stand?

A mile long to do list?

A never ending stream of ideas overflowing your brain?

15 different notebooks you’re actively working in?

50 healthy habits you’re trying to incorporate into your life every day?

3 different calendars?

Dare I even mention new year’s resolutions??!!

HOLY SHIT!!! WHOA WHOA WHOA! STOP!!

If your life is still full from 2012, there’s not going to be any room for all that awesome new 2013 stuff you’ve been dreaming about!

How much crap have you accumulated over the past year? And not necessarily just physical crap but habits and thoughts, too.

Sure, you use social media for your biz and all those healthy habits were started with the best of intentions and you need those calendars to keep track of all the stuff you’re doing…

BUT, how much of this stuff *actually* makes you feel good? Which are helping you accomplish the things you want and which are getting in the way?

You CAN’T just pile the new on top of the old and expect different results!

OKAY. I have a challenge for you… MINIMIZE TO MAXIMIZE!

Step 1 – Give yourself permission to have a fresh start. Let yourself off the hook for all the stuff you meant to get done in 2012 but didn’t. That’s in the past, you can’t change it now!

Step 2 – Analyze what you want. Make a list of your main goals for 2013. Keep it simple – 5 or less. Ok, now for each of those goals, choose one word that embodies that goal. You very well might come up with the same word for each goal. If you’ve already chosen a theme for 2013, skip to the next step!

Step 3 – Minimize! Go through everything you have in your life and really assess – is this in line with my themes? Am I *actually* into this?! Does this put me in a good mood? If the answer is NO, get rid of it. Reduce what you’re doing to things that meet your goals.

This task might sound daunting. Which might make you not want to do it. Start small by just committing to pay attention to how things make you feel. And then take small actions right then to change it.

Never really read that newsletter? Unsubscribe.

So and so’s Facebook statuses really trigger you and leave you distracted? Hide their updates from your feed or unfriend and unlike.

Is getting all your healthy habits in causing more damage in stress than the habit is creating good in your life? Pick one to focus on at a time.

Step 4 – Maximize! Now that you have more space in your life, sit back and let the new opportunities come your way! Warning: when you set new goals and eliminate stuff, life tends to send little testers. It’s like saying – are you SURE you don’t want this?! Be sure not to get sucked back in 😉

You don’t have to force yourself to stay involved in things that aren’t bringing a huge return – joy or otherwise.

– click to Tweet!

So, what are you gonna get rid of? What do you want it to make room for?

gimmespace!


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Merry Fishmas! (and massive discounts!)

Happy December!

–} It’s the holidays! {–

I celebrated Hannukah growing up. Since my mother feels really uncomfortable around anything Christmas related, and never wants to partake in it, I always felt like I was watching the holidays from afar. Which was really pretty sad because… I love all things holidays!

People are (for the most part) extra friendly and happy. Everything is all sparkly and twinkly and cozy, and smells yummy. It’s like stepping into a cinnamon scented womb!

Fast forward to 2005. I had just moved to New York and went over to my friends’ place on Christmas. The three of us ate fish tacos, drank boozy egg nog and had a holiday movie marathon. It was fun times.

In 2006, we got together again, and upped our game. More people came. The host’s kitty donned a santa hat. There was champagne. It was officially a partay. And thus, Fishmas was born!

In the past seven years, Fishmas has grown, from three people eating tacos made of fish sticks and tartar sauce, to a packed apartment participating in the holiday of non-denominational, wintery raucous. We’re talkin’ freshly beer battered fish, homemade corn tortillas, a gift exchange, pumpkin infused burbon and… well… what happens at Fishmas stays at Fishmas, mmmmmmk!

While it might not *look* the same, it 100% *feels* like the holiday experience I always dreamed of as a kid! 

If your holiday isn’t everything you’ve always wanted, you officially have permission to make up your own perfect winter shenanigans.

This freedom of creation applies to your business, too.

Yup, whatever weird, crazy thing you might have squirming around in your brain… you have permission to let it out! I promise you, people will LOVE it!

And, if you’re not having fun with your biz the way it is right now, change it. For the love of god, get rid of what’s not making you happy!

gimme space!

gimme space!

–} And now, the gifts! {–

It’s a super sale! I’m offering massive discounts for the next week on…

Own Your Weird – was $597, now $297! (Also comes in payment plan form). It’s all about using your unique breed of personality awesomeness to make you STAND OUT in the crowd. Check it out »

Clarity Hotline – my brand new one-off coaching! All the awesome question asking goodness, tailored to what’s going on with you, one session at a time.
Buy 1 60 min session   –> $100
Buy 2 60 min sessions –> $180 (10% off)
Buy 3 60 min sessions –> $240 (20% off)
Buy 4 60 min sessions –> $280 (30% off)

Hit me back if you have any questions. I would be positively delighted to help you close out 2012 and get all set-up for 2013! 


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How to get un-confused

Does it feel like sometimes the only thing you’re clear on is that you’re feeling confused?

Here’s how to get un-confused:

1. Stop saying ‘I’m confused.’

When we say “I’m confused” – we’re reaffirming being confused. We’re actually intending it. And that creates… yup, more confused.

You actually aren’t confused at all. You’re in a very specific process of discovery to which you can’t foresee the future path (very few of us can).

Just roll with it.

2. Get curious!

Ask questions. Wonder about it. Be playful. Trust you know the answers.

Feel what it feels like to feel open and clear. What it feels like to be at the cusp of a great realization, and then… let go of all your ideas of what it *should* be like and just let it be what it is.

Often, our insistance on this whole being confused thing is happening because we’re having an inner conflict about the answers we’re getting.

Don’t fight it!

3. Go do something else instead.

If you’re ‘confused,’ the LAST thing you need to spend more time doing is thinking about whatever you’re trying to figure out.

The more you try, the closer you get to it. The closer you get to it, the less you can see what’s actually going on.

At this point, you’re probably in major frustration mode. Frustration and clarity are like oil and water. It aint gonna happen right now!

Walk. Away.

Go do something FUN. Something OPENING. Something that makes you giggle and see the world in a new way.

EXPAND.

Put the soundtrack of your life in your ears, go outside and take a nice long walk.

Breathe deep.

Cry.

Lay in the grass.

4. Let it happen.

Look up at the sky and see how big and empty it is. That’s the space you need to feel in order for the answers come fill it.

And they will.

When all the pressure to find the *right* answers is gone, when you’re least expecting it, you’ll get that flash of insight.

And don’t forget to tell the universe… thank you.

gimme space!

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Why People Don’t Charge for Their Services – and Why You Should Start

As seen on The Irresistible Business

Putting a price tag on your skills can bring up all kinds of uncomfortable stuff. The more passionate you are about something, the more it starts to feel like a deep piece of you. Charging for access can make you wonder if what you have is actually worth cash and if people will really pay for it. Here are a few common mindsets that keep us stuck in the free zone, debunked.

1. I can’t charge because I don’t know what I’m doing. I need more experience.

This is a common one that comes up when first starting out. Maybe you just graduated or are venturing out on your own. First of all, no one knows everything about a subject. Accept that you don’t and you never will. Also accept that you know enough, now. Way more than the average person. That’s what people are paying you for – to help them with what they don’t know about. Beginners don’t need to learn from an expert, they can learn just as well from an intermediate. Start using what you know, and when you know more, you’ll use that too.

2. People can’t afford to pay. We’re in a recession.

As service providers, it’s not up to us to decide if people can afford what we’re offering. Whatever ideas we might have about whether or not people can afford something are entirely speculation. Even if you only look at statistics, the unemployment rate at the writing of this is 8.2%. That means 91.8% of the workforce is employed. Plenty of people have a regular paycheck and the unemployed spend money, too.

Here’s the thing — the cost of something is dynamic and isn’t just about the number on the price tag. Once a potential client understands what they will really gain by buying the product or service, your rates will always look like a deal!

Ask questions that draw out what the person’s goals are in relation to what you’re selling, and how their life would be better if they could reach those goals. Only deliver your price after they see the value. Start thinking about and referring to the rate as an “investment.” Remember that people will be getting a huge return on this investment long after the relationship is over.

3. I’m afraid that if I start charging, everything will change.

If you start charging for something you used to give out for free, things will change. Some, or maybe all, of the people you had been gifting your services to might not want to pay for them. This is completely okay. You will find new people who are willing to pay. When you are providing a service to someone, you and the recipient are engaging in an exchange of energy. When you charge for the service, the recipient is giving their energy in the form of money. When they buy it, the client is making a direct choice about what they want. Because of this deliberate choice, they will be more invested in the transformation and be able to get what they want out of it.

How do you feel about charging for your skills? 

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