Tag Archives: fear

Alter egos.

This concept of an alter ego has been appearing in my travels.

First it appeared in a thread on a workshop forum. One of the wonderful ladies in the workshop shared her alter ego. She’s a talented poet and I absolutely LOVED her name. (Maybe she’ll grace us with her presence in the comments)

Then it appeared again in my horoscope for the week:

“Modest and chic, you tend towards the understated, but this full moon prods you out of your shell. Let your secret wild side emerge in the spirit of legendary Capricorn David Bowie and his alter ego Ziggy Stardust. Embrace the summer’s neon pink trend and rock it like it was your sign’s signature neutral hue.”

I’ve always been a little turned off by the idea of the alter ego. It seemed like people trying to be something they’re not. And that felt fake.

I hate fake.

But the more I think about, the more I realize that if you it feels good and right, then it’s not fake. It’s a real part of us.

We tend to use all the stuff we’ve experienced to make up the person we’re being. A lot of it we picked up when we were kids and have gotten so used to it, it’s become the normal us. That me has some pretty solid ideas of what I can and can’t do. What I am and am not. Sometimes those are limitations, sometimes they’re pieces of my personality that I like.

But being someone other than who I normally am is kind of scary. It would be so much easier if someone came along and was all “I give you permission. Let’s get CRAZY!”

Having an alter ego seems like that person – a short cut to funneling out a hidden part of me that doesn’t include any of my self-imposed bullshit. It sounds awesome and I’m intrigued.

I’m summoning you, alter ego… who are you? Let’s hang out.

Do you have an alter ego? Tell me who she (or he) is and how you two met!

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Why People Don’t Charge for Their Services – and Why You Should Start

As seen on The Irresistible Business

Putting a price tag on your skills can bring up all kinds of uncomfortable stuff. The more passionate you are about something, the more it starts to feel like a deep piece of you. Charging for access can make you wonder if what you have is actually worth cash and if people will really pay for it. Here are a few common mindsets that keep us stuck in the free zone, debunked.

1. I can’t charge because I don’t know what I’m doing. I need more experience.

This is a common one that comes up when first starting out. Maybe you just graduated or are venturing out on your own. First of all, no one knows everything about a subject. Accept that you don’t and you never will. Also accept that you know enough, now. Way more than the average person. That’s what people are paying you for – to help them with what they don’t know about. Beginners don’t need to learn from an expert, they can learn just as well from an intermediate. Start using what you know, and when you know more, you’ll use that too.

2. People can’t afford to pay. We’re in a recession.

As service providers, it’s not up to us to decide if people can afford what we’re offering. Whatever ideas we might have about whether or not people can afford something are entirely speculation. Even if you only look at statistics, the unemployment rate at the writing of this is 8.2%. That means 91.8% of the workforce is employed. Plenty of people have a regular paycheck and the unemployed spend money, too.

Here’s the thing — the cost of something is dynamic and isn’t just about the number on the price tag. Once a potential client understands what they will really gain by buying the product or service, your rates will always look like a deal!

Ask questions that draw out what the person’s goals are in relation to what you’re selling, and how their life would be better if they could reach those goals. Only deliver your price after they see the value. Start thinking about and referring to the rate as an “investment.” Remember that people will be getting a huge return on this investment long after the relationship is over.

3. I’m afraid that if I start charging, everything will change.

If you start charging for something you used to give out for free, things will change. Some, or maybe all, of the people you had been gifting your services to might not want to pay for them. This is completely okay. You will find new people who are willing to pay. When you are providing a service to someone, you and the recipient are engaging in an exchange of energy. When you charge for the service, the recipient is giving their energy in the form of money. When they buy it, the client is making a direct choice about what they want. Because of this deliberate choice, they will be more invested in the transformation and be able to get what they want out of it.

How do you feel about charging for your skills? 

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