Tag Archives: mindset

Choose to look for the proof that you’re awesome!

The other day I wrote this as an experiment in attracting clients:

Dear Universe & Angels:

I am so ready to serve and help. I am handing over the task of bringing me the clients who:

  • have issues that I can help them with
  • value me enough to pay for what I do
  • get the benefit of the process, want to learn about themselves, find a solution and have fun with it

<3 thank you!
Mara

After writing it, I felt completely liberated! I didn’t realize how much the pressure I had been putting on myself to get client attraction right. It felt euphoric to take myself out of the equation and just TRUST that someone else had it covered. A little cosmic delegation, if you will!

I looked at it, read it out loud… really FELT it!

And it felt GREAT!

And then… after about 24 hours… it lost it’s magic.

And I went spiraling downward… into DOUBTVILLE.

Doubtville looked like this:

  • What if the Universe & Angels don’t want to help me?
  • What if I can’t help people?
  • What if people don’t find value in working with me?
  • What if they don’t get the benefit of the process?

First of all, none of these thoughts are actually true…

  • The Universe & Angels are not malicious and they don’t choose favorites! They’ll help anyone and everyone.
  • I can help people. I help them everyday.
  • People invest in my services all the time, so they obviously see the value!
  • My process gets results. People want results. Therefore, people see benefit in the process.

So why the doubting then?

When I dug a little deeper, I came up with…

A desire to fail.

?!

Why on earth would I WANT to prove I can fail?

Logically speaking, that’s so effing ridiculous!

BECAUSE, that’s the tricky stuff that our mental monkeys do. They twist everything around and lead us in crazy pursuits to prove right these crappy things we agreed to believe about ourselves.

We all have wacky/crappy stuff we started believing at some point in the past.

As true as these beliefs might feel, they AREN’T!

If you’re saying, BUT MARA, I HAVE PROOF!

You sure do. You can engineer some proof to support any idea about yourself you come up with. That doesn’t make it true.

Whatever you choose to believe about yourself is what’s gonna show up on your plate. You want to believe that you’re lame or not worth it or broke or confused or the world hates you and that all dogs pee on your bike and crazy homeless men follow you around, you will continue to prove yourself right OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

You have a choice: You can walk around looking for proof that you suck and the world hates you OR you can start looking for proof that confirms just how effing awesome you are.

Because you are really damn awesome.  <– Click to tweet!  You’re pure love, baby!

gimmespace!

(ps – this is what getting out of your own way means!)

So… tell me, where are you letting the monkeys have their way with you?! What are you going to do to take back control and choose awesome?!


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16 things to try when you aren’t getting clients

I’m not gonna sugar coat this,
IT BLOWS when the clients are nowhere to be found!

You’re worried, you’re stressed and and sadly, the easiest thing to do – getting frustrated and angry and sad – doesn’t really seem to do the trick when it comes to moving things forward.

Nope, it’s time to do some troubleshooting to figure out what the hay might be going on.

Here’s 16 things to try when business is slow and all you wanna do is help some folks and pay the bills:

1. Give up! Ok, so you don’t have to GIVE UP, give up. Just give up the struggle.

Let yourself off the hook. Get out from under all that pressure you’ve been putting on yourself to SUCCEED at the numbers game. Close the laptop, take off the headset and go do something that has NOTHING to do with work. Woo alert! When you give up, you’re getting out of your way and giving the Universe/God/Goddess (or whatever you believe in!) a chance to work some magic in your favor. Even if you don’t believe in this, just give it a chance, you might be surprised at the results!

2. Are you having FUN?! No one says to themself, ‘gee, I’d sure love to find a coach who’s miserable and hating life!’ People want to hire people who are happy and having a good time. Work fun into your daily routine.

3. Are you feeling desperate? Get yourself to a place of feeling FULL and SATISFIED. Do whatever it takes. Even if you only have three days until a bill is due, a new client could come into your life in a matter of seconds or minutes. You just never know.

4. Change your measurement of success. If your success is based on the numbers game (number of clients you’ve got or dollars in your bank account), you’re likely feeling pretty crappy about yourself when those numbers are low. The uber competitive, capitalistic, age of the individual has left us tying our worth to numbers. It doesn’t have to be that way. You get to make up your own definition of success and tell yourself whatever story you want about what it means.

5. Are you being consistent with your marketing? Consistency is so so important. People encounter so much every day, they aren’t likely to remember you unless you’re reminding them frequently that you exist and what you can do for them.

Creating content also reminds YOU what you’re all about and what you can do for people. And keeps you creative, fired up and evolving.

6. Does your business exist in your head? Sometimes, it might *feel* like you’re doing a lot of work for your biz because it’s always on your mind, BUT, if that’s the only place it is, nobody knows about it! If you’re always contemplating your ideas, or running them by people for feedback, but never taking action to make them real, it only exists in your head.

Get those ideas OUT of your head!

7. Are you embarrassed to send people to your website or sales page? Do you hate the name of your program so much you never want to say it? Do you have a hard time talking about what you do? This WILL create a huge block in the flow of your biz! If you hate what you have out there or clam up whenever someone asks what you do, and secretly don’t want anyone to see it or ask about it, then they won’t. It’s that simple.

Love all the pieces of your biz and yell about it from rooftops! People get excited when you’re excited!  <– click to tweet it!

If you can’t do this, you need to take a look at whether you’re *actually* into what you’re doing.

8. Do people understand the value of what you’re offering? Do they get what you can do for them and what’s in it for them? If people don’t get how what you can do for them will make their lives more awesome, they aren’t going to invest in it.

9. Are you barking up the wrong tree? People buy what they WANT, but not necessarily what they NEED. And, they have to be ready for it. If someone says no or not now, move along and find people who are ready for what you can do for them. Get off the crusade of trying to convince people they need it. They very well might but you can’t force them into it.

10. Are you being the person your clients need to be in order to by your thing? Our clients mirror us. So, if people aren’t buying, for instance, take a look at your headspace and actions to see if you’re exhibiting this same behavior.

Are you holding back in some way and not wanting to confront a personal demon? Are you sitting on decisions or telling yourself you can’t afford something? Are you worrying that hiring someone won’t help you with what you need?

All of these thought patterns will attract other people with the same ones. Take the risk or leap you want your potential clients to make.

11. Are you hiding? Are you saying what you want and how you want to say it? Do you have pictures of yourself on your site? People buy when they feel connected. They want to see your face and hear your personal story.

If you said ‘yes, Mara, I am’ to this one. Ask yourself again – AM I REALLY BEING MY WEIRD SELF?!! Take a risk, I promise people will NATURALLY be drawn to you when you’re being your self, no matter how WHACKY that is!

12. Is the language you’re using approachable and understandable? Write how you speak and use words and phrases your clients ACTUALLY use to describe their woes. People will be all – YES! THAT’S SO ME!! Stay away from generic jargon that everyone uses but can mean different things to different people. Step into your power… become your authentic self… you get the idea 🙂 Get original and honest with your copy!

13. Is there a tricky mindset at play? Will having more money or more clients be in direct conflict with a hidden belief you’re hardboring? Here’s two I’ve uncovered in the past year:

  • Having more money would mean I would have to make decisions about certain things in my life. Decisions I didn’t want to have to make. So, keeping myself broke was keeping me from having to make those decisions! Convenient, right?!
  • Having more clients would mean being responsible for people and potentially letting them down.

Ask yourself: Who would I have to be to make money? What would having money mean?

14. Work on your money story! There’s so much packed into this one. We all have a past with money that dates back way farther than we can remember. Do some work to help you dig that up and get to know what’s going on there.

If you’re broke and always telling yourself you can’t afford things, you will continue down that path unless you change something. Try making a tiny shift in how you look at money. ie – Pay your bills with gratitude and appreciation by making a list of all the things this service enabled you to do. Or, look at not buying something as a choice rather than because you can’t afford it. It’s likely that you could sacrifice your rent to pay for something you wanted but you would rather have a home than a $500 pair of boots. That’s a choice! Feel empowered by your priorities instead of controlled by them.

15. Get rid of something! I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ – well, that shit is damn true! Try it out and watch what happens. It doesn’t really matter what it is… actual stuff, using a gift certificate you’ve been saving, cleaning out the fridge. Just do something and get it off your to do list. This creates flow where things are blocked.

Just be aware of what’s coming your way. Sometimes we’ll get sent something we don’t want as a test to see how committed we are to our true goals. Stay strong and hold out for the thing you really want!

16. Do you really want to be doing this? Are you really actually excited about it?! Get prepared for this one because the answer might be NO. And that’s OK.

What would you rather be doing instead? Is it a different offer or whole other business altogether? Be honest with yourself. Even if you don’t know how to make the switch right now, you will figure it out. You totally deserve to be doing something you love and getting to be YOUR WEIRD SELF. Believe it.

Tell me, which one(s) resonated the most with you? Do you have any specific things you like to do when you’re feeling all blocked up in the client area?

gimmespace!


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Alter egos.

This concept of an alter ego has been appearing in my travels.

First it appeared in a thread on a workshop forum. One of the wonderful ladies in the workshop shared her alter ego. She’s a talented poet and I absolutely LOVED her name. (Maybe she’ll grace us with her presence in the comments)

Then it appeared again in my horoscope for the week:

“Modest and chic, you tend towards the understated, but this full moon prods you out of your shell. Let your secret wild side emerge in the spirit of legendary Capricorn David Bowie and his alter ego Ziggy Stardust. Embrace the summer’s neon pink trend and rock it like it was your sign’s signature neutral hue.”

I’ve always been a little turned off by the idea of the alter ego. It seemed like people trying to be something they’re not. And that felt fake.

I hate fake.

But the more I think about, the more I realize that if you it feels good and right, then it’s not fake. It’s a real part of us.

We tend to use all the stuff we’ve experienced to make up the person we’re being. A lot of it we picked up when we were kids and have gotten so used to it, it’s become the normal us. That me has some pretty solid ideas of what I can and can’t do. What I am and am not. Sometimes those are limitations, sometimes they’re pieces of my personality that I like.

But being someone other than who I normally am is kind of scary. It would be so much easier if someone came along and was all “I give you permission. Let’s get CRAZY!”

Having an alter ego seems like that person – a short cut to funneling out a hidden part of me that doesn’t include any of my self-imposed bullshit. It sounds awesome and I’m intrigued.

I’m summoning you, alter ego… who are you? Let’s hang out.

Do you have an alter ego? Tell me who she (or he) is and how you two met!

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Thoughts on money as energy

The beautiful and talented Nakia Angelique posed this question to her Facebook community:

I hear this often, “i don’t really need to make a lot of money, just enough to do this and that and take care of…”.

So, that’s cool, but consider this, let’s say $30,000 a year would do ya.
Why not aim to create $300,000 and give away $270,000? #broadenyourperspective

This topic is so very front and center right now, especially in the face of more and more people waking up to what’s really going on in the world. Read: corporate greed.

But, if heart-driven people had more money than they needed to survive, then they would get to support and enable even more heart-driven people, places, and things. Think about it for a minute.

In the mean time, here are my thoughts on where this mindset comes from…

I think this idea that having a lot of extra money is *bad* comes (in part) from the scarcity mindset. “If I have more than I need, then I’m taking away from someone else.” That concept comes, in part, from money being backed by gold and other finite resources – if you didn’t have it, you didn’t have wealth. But, what if we look at money as a banked amount of energy – you put forth your energy in a specific way and someone gives you money (their banked energy) in exchange. On the most basic level, we all have a bottomless store of banked energy, meaning that each person on this planet has the potential to earn an infinite amount of monetary wealth as well.

Now, in *real* world application, there are tons of roadblocks of various kinds that keep that loop from cycling freely – what we tell ourselves is possible, health problems, self-doubt, various modes of government and religion – the list goes on and on… but, what if stripping these roadblocks away is as easy as just believing that it’s possible. We wouldn’t have to know how, but just believing would invite that benevolent energy that’s greater than us to come in and figure out the HOW.

In the comments below, tell me how you feel about making more money than you *need*

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