Tag Archives: time

My existential crisis and remembering who I really am

This week has been ROUGH over here at Mara Belzer HQ.

If only there were some place we could order a dropper full of confidence and clarity! Take 4 drops 3x a day and you’d be set ūüėČ

Mine would probably be made from the energetic vibration of the tears my three year old self shed five lifetimes ago when that dog bit my foot and I ended up with a marking on my first chakra.

Alas, being an entrepreneur is super painful sometimes and blocks can be tricky. And the only thing you can really do is just wade through the thoughts and feelings while attempting to keep the collateral damage to a minimum.

For me that means calling on my arsenal of friends and coaches and handholding otters so I don’t float out to sea.

AND completely getting away from my business and doing fun stuff until I am *actually* having fun.

Yesterday, between fits of hysterical crying, I went to my storage unit to look for some watercolor paper. I’ve been nomadic for the past two years so looking for stuff in there is like sorting through a time capsule.

I found my old sketchbooks from art school. They reminded me that I’ve had a propensity towards the weird since… forever.

gimme
snail watching tv
Here's a drawing I did of a slug watching tv.
house cat
Here's my interpretation of a house cat back from when I was really into house music. Over on the left you can see evidence of my obsession with label makers.
gimme

I also found the snakes which you can read all about in my post about the snakes.

gimme
Snakes!
gimme

This trip down memory lane helped me see that my life is much bigger than any existential crisis.

Life flows in waves and sometimes when you’re at the bottom of the wave, it’s hard to remember that pretty soon you’ll be back on top of the world, having a grand ole time, and feeling stronger for that dip.

gimme
Here's my three year old self from this lifetime enjoying the heck out of toothless smiles and nature.
gimme

Ok, so… the next time you find yourself in an entrepreneurial rut, you have¬†permission¬†to take a break and do something that reminds you of who you really are.

Because you are SO MUCH MORE than the number of clients you have or amount of dollars in your bank account or number of likes on Facebook.  <Рclick to tweet that!

You are amazing with or without.

gimmespace!


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Experimenting with self-imposed structure and schedules

I’m what you might call a free spirit.

I’ve never been one for strict schedules.

I don’t like parameters.

They’ve always made me feel boxed in and under pressure. And, I’ve discovered that feeling pressured is my number one creativity killer.

Forced creativity was the hardest part of my former profession of being a graphic designer. Graphic design is what I would call a reactionary profession. A client comes to you with a specific design need and you create it for them based on their timeline.

This process was really stressful for me.

So, when I started my own business, in lieu of structure, I opted for more of a follow the bouncy ball approach. The ball being creativity. Happily chasing after it until the bounces got smaller and smaller and the ball eventually stopped. This approach seemed like living the dream of true creative freedom.

Each new idea started with me throwing the (proverbial) ball at the ground as hard as I could and bouncing along with it until it stopped. At which point, I would pick up the ball and bounce it again.

But, I’ve come to realize that my new focus – marketing mindset work – is what I would refer to as a visionary approach. In guiding others through the blazing of their own trail, I’m creating from scratch.¬†I’m not just following along.¬†I’m leading now, instead of reacting. I’m responsible for throwing the ball. I also have a choice in how and where it bounces and what happens when it starts to slow down.

I’ve been sticking to a reactionary schedule in a visionary setting, thinking that’s where my creativity thrives.¬†But, sometimes the ball bounces off the ceiling and hits you in the face or scoots under the fridge and you just don’t feel like chasing after it.¬†This leaves me in pain, disoriented or with a total loss of momentum.

I’ve started to get curious… can all of that discomfort can be avoided if¬†I choose to catch the ball and start the game over before things get out of hand? Do I have more control over my creativity than I think? Will building a structure for my time create a space, backed by intention, for creativity to flow into?

This deep curiosity to see what happens when I assign blocks of time for specific tasks has led me to fill up my calendar with colorful boxes that tell me what to do, when. Will this approach unleash epic creativity and productivity? I’m itchin’ to find out! Stay tuned for my report on how it all pans out.

How do you set up your schedule and why? What are the pluses and minuses?

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